• I ve known each other for 18 years, and I've been married for 13 years, and I've been happ


  •  May you be strong and lovely

    May your life go forward and never look back.
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    I met at the age of 20, married at the age of 25, had a big girl at the age of 28, and had a second brother at the age of 34. 21 to 31 years old, different place, ten years different place, the best ten years of a woman's life.
    Divorce at the age of 38.
    18 years of acquaintance, 13 years of marriage.
    In the eyes of outsiders, we are a happy family. All boast that we are the winners in life. The husband and wife love each other, have a successful career, a car, a house, a son, a father and a son.
    What is the reality?
    Life is a gorgeous robe full of lice.
    Love is a matter of two people, marriage is a matter of two families. Countless people have said that this is the lesson of blood and tears.
    Three generations and six people, his parents, I, he and two children huddled under the same roof, how much will happen to say that they will swallow their grievances.
    He has known each other for 18 years and spent 18 Spring Festival in his home. His parents have decided to go on a journey of making friends with each other every day, and we will follow him.
    He's in charge of finance. I'll keep some pocket money. For a long time, I didn't have much desire for money, and I didn't have a hobby of buying. I didn't care how much I saved at home and how much he earned.
    I like watching movies. He doesn't like them. He hasn't been to a cinema for many years.
    I like street snacks. He asked me to set a good example for my children. At first, I would swallow saliva when I endured, and then I was numb.
    Big girl was born for more than half a year. She had to be held every night. For many days and nights, I held her and sat on the bed watching the East white.
    After the birth of my second brother, I was still lying in bed, his mother threw a meal, I quietly lying in bed tears. At that time, my parents were on the court.
    Women's instinct, my focus on family, basically no one's own circle, classmates and friends are "lost". Two Frontlines of life. His social circle is the main one.
    As for the preference of men over women, I think I am married to his family, no one is worthy of the excellent ex husband, I like to eat and do nothing, and so on.
    Thought guides one's actions. It's not hard to imagine how to treat me with such a concept.
    As for the individual, I have a stable job, a good income, and a bit of talent. I have a lawyer's qualification certificate, and I am a goddess (preferred by my classmates) in my study time.
    As a mother, I think I am qualified. I have answered the questions about picture books in Zhihu. They are all the experience that I have accumulated in reading with my children.
    As a partner, I have been encouraging and supporting him for ten years. If I want to have a good figure, I want to have a good appearance. Considerate, tender and considerate self-identity is also included.
    How can it be so bad.
    I am more and more depressed, more and more silent, more and more numb.
    The little girl who lives in my heart is dead.
    When a relationship can't make you better, or even make you difficult to be yourself, you can't relax in this space and have no sense of belonging, then you need to consider this relationship well, it is consuming your energy and depriving you of happiness.
    Countless trivial details in marriage are trivial. Every day, every month, every year, they will press on you like straw. Just one blast point.
    My daughter follows me. His son will follow him. He is busy at work. His grandparents are basically taking care of him. Every week, I go to see the little guy.
    The world is so strange, two good people do not necessarily get along well, let alone so many people crowded together. The growing environment, ideological understanding, living habits, and conduct are all different. There are so many right and wrong in life, but everyone is a planet and has their own orbit. The story of forcibly changing orbit is just science fiction.
    Although no single parent family is better than a complete and happy family, it is better than a two parent family with low pressure.
    Especially in the divorce, in front of the interests, many things are broken up. Just know what role and position they are in their eyes for so many years.
    Life will continue as long as you still love the fireworks.
    After the divorce, I read some books and talked with my friends to explore what it is to pursue marriage.
    Marriage is the product of the patriarchal society and the exploitation of women.
    But for thousands of years, school, family and society have brainwashed, and women themselves have recognized and yearned for a better marriage. I also believe in beautiful love and eulogize the marriage of one person for life. But it doesn't beautify the nature of marriage.
    Marriage is not used to protect love, marriage is to protect property. Divorce decisions, distribution of children and property. Don't die because of love, compensate you a cent.
    Man begins with a fertilized egg and ends with dust. Come, not voluntarily, go, not voluntarily.
    In this world, it is to experience and live to the fullest. The hopeless family life, which is oppressed to grievance, is not as good as the single life of high quality.
    Marriage is a way of life, and so is being single. There is no right or wrong, only fit or not.
    Now I, and Niuniu two people.
    Very comfortable.
     
    Work hard, exercise, and take care of the girl
     
    She grew up in a flash.
    When you shop in the supermarket, you will compare the prices.
    I also became diligent at home, sweeping and mopping the floor to collect things.
     

    Divorce taught me:

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    All life has to go through is life and death,
    Marriage is not, and remarriage is not.
     
    Remarriage is a difficult mode of life, which is not handled well by ordinary people.
    It needs a high EQ and a certain economic foundation.
     
    The cornerstone of a family is to build it wholeheartedly on both sides.
     
    First marriage, all the first time is each other's, the first wedding, the first time to be a parent's joy, the first time to meet a new life Two people have a common child, fighting for the family is for children, frankly speaking, husband and wife is a community of interests, is bound.
     
    Second marriage is a congenital disability at this point. They will have their own plans. After all, the last marriage was hurt, and the conditioned reflex should protect themselves and their children. I have my own ideas in the economy, and estrangement is too easy to generate.
     
    It's easy to hold on to an uncomfortable state for a while, but it's too hard to hold on for a lifetime. Against humanity.
    Either compromise on physical illness or part way.
     
    Tell two stories.
     
    A lawyer friend of mine got married two times. In the last marriage, she had a child with her ex-wife. The woman of this marriage brought a daughter. Asked him how he felt, and gave me four words - just make do with it. The complex family relationship of second marriage is very trial, and it's easy to break up in the face of wind and rain.
     
    He is a person with high EQ and strong business ability. It's natural and comfortable to receive people and treat them with sophisticated physical and human feelings. He was crying. It is more difficult for ordinary people to manage well.
     
    He told me a case of his own agency. Husband and wife in their seventies, both of whom are reorganizing their families, each with a child. After decades of struggle, there are 50 million assets. Now I'm old, I want to give more points to my children and grandchildren. I think it's unfair. I went to court for divorce for property.
     
    Let me sigh with emotion. If you say something rough, it's all buried in the neck, and you will divorce and fight for benefits. How hard it is to let go.
     
    Also a friend to do business, the previous marriage has a son with him, the current wife is the first marriage, gave birth to a son. The eldest doesn't recognize the second. The wife is partial to the second child. It's all good to eat and wear small ones. He can't help but take care of the boss himself. In business, my wife often reports fake accounts and saves private money. He knew that he had to turn his eyes.
     
    When I first divorced, I went to my ex-wife to remarry. At that time, she was still gambling, but she didn't succeed. Now, he still regrets.
     
    What can I do? Life has to go on. I can't live without dying. The happiness index is really out of the question.
     
    I think it's more rational. One of the husband and wife will go first and always leave one alone. Nothing in the world is perfect
     
     
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  2. ムン  Uploaded on  2020-01-08